Am a big fan of Marshall Goldsmith's blogs - this one is a great reminder that "Truly great leaders recognize how silly it is to believe that a coach or a leader is the key to an organization's success. The best leaders understand that long-term results are created by all of the great people doing the work — not just the one person who has the privilege of being at the top."
Enjoy
Colm
Leadership Isn't About You
Friday, January 8, 2010
“Who’ll be my role model? Now that my role model is gone, gone ……….”
Two random events in a space of four days has got me thinking a lot about role models.
The first, which I am not proud about, involved me arguing with my wife on a Saturday morning in front of our three kids. As I stomped out of the kitchen in my best childish huff, my wife said sarcastically “… and a fine role model you are to these boys!”
Even after peace had broken out thirty minutes later, the significance of me now being a role model to these little boys stayed with me. What kind of imprint do I want to leave with them as they grow and face the challenges of a complex world?
Three days later and as I flick around the TV channels I come across a documentary on Joan Baez. While not a fan of her music I became absorbed in the bigger story of her consistent involvement in the civil rights and the peace movement from the early 60’s to today. It was never the standard celebrity “My accountant and I think peace is a good thing.” Joan Baez marched, got arrested, was spat at and insulted because she stood up for what she believed in and because she got involved.
The impact on her record sales didn’t matter. These were her beliefs and they reflect what she continues to stand for.
That documentary left me wondering again about this idea of a role model and the questions “what do I want to stand for?”
I did think about picking someone like Mandela or Martin Luther King and saying “I want to be like them” . I even went onto a role models website - its big announcement was that it was removing Tiger Woods from his role model status. It seems even role models get rifted.
But to be honest picking someone else, famous or not, did just not sit with me. How can you try to be like someone else when it is hard enough to be fully who are you yourself?
So my new role model is going to be….me.
And that means me stepping up and proving worthy of the role. So what might that look like?
Robert Kegan and Otto Laske have separately worked on defining the main stages of adult development. With stages 1 and 2 being focused on us as kids or teenagers, the next three stages are :
Stage 3 – Socialised Mind – being highly influenced by what I believe others want to hear with constant interpreting of how I fit in and overriding my gut in order to meet others expectations.
Stage 4 – Self Authoring – being able to step back and identify and act from my own authentic value system. Taking stands and challenging the status quo based on my beliefs.
Stage 5 - Transforming – being less attached to own solutions, able to handle complexity, knowing own limit and accepting of others regardless of their view point. A Zen Buddhist state of being.
I definitely know that I start 2010 in Stage 3 – so my role model is going to hit the gym and build some stage 4 muscle this year! It is not going to be easy but then again if it was easier where would be the development?
So what is your role model signing up to in 2010?
The first, which I am not proud about, involved me arguing with my wife on a Saturday morning in front of our three kids. As I stomped out of the kitchen in my best childish huff, my wife said sarcastically “… and a fine role model you are to these boys!”
Even after peace had broken out thirty minutes later, the significance of me now being a role model to these little boys stayed with me. What kind of imprint do I want to leave with them as they grow and face the challenges of a complex world?
Three days later and as I flick around the TV channels I come across a documentary on Joan Baez. While not a fan of her music I became absorbed in the bigger story of her consistent involvement in the civil rights and the peace movement from the early 60’s to today. It was never the standard celebrity “My accountant and I think peace is a good thing.” Joan Baez marched, got arrested, was spat at and insulted because she stood up for what she believed in and because she got involved.
The impact on her record sales didn’t matter. These were her beliefs and they reflect what she continues to stand for.
That documentary left me wondering again about this idea of a role model and the questions “what do I want to stand for?”
I did think about picking someone like Mandela or Martin Luther King and saying “I want to be like them” . I even went onto a role models website - its big announcement was that it was removing Tiger Woods from his role model status. It seems even role models get rifted.
But to be honest picking someone else, famous or not, did just not sit with me. How can you try to be like someone else when it is hard enough to be fully who are you yourself?
So my new role model is going to be….me.
And that means me stepping up and proving worthy of the role. So what might that look like?
Robert Kegan and Otto Laske have separately worked on defining the main stages of adult development. With stages 1 and 2 being focused on us as kids or teenagers, the next three stages are :
Stage 3 – Socialised Mind – being highly influenced by what I believe others want to hear with constant interpreting of how I fit in and overriding my gut in order to meet others expectations.
Stage 4 – Self Authoring – being able to step back and identify and act from my own authentic value system. Taking stands and challenging the status quo based on my beliefs.
Stage 5 - Transforming – being less attached to own solutions, able to handle complexity, knowing own limit and accepting of others regardless of their view point. A Zen Buddhist state of being.
I definitely know that I start 2010 in Stage 3 – so my role model is going to hit the gym and build some stage 4 muscle this year! It is not going to be easy but then again if it was easier where would be the development?
So what is your role model signing up to in 2010?
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